Marriage !

Heading towards one’s own ruin, happily is what my idea of marriage has always been. We have so many debates that run about how marriages are becoming more and more unsuccessful day after day. Everyone argues that people, who fall in love before marriage and get married, tend to succeed more than marriages that are arranged.

I have seen many of them. Successful as well as failed marriages. Being a by-product of one this kind, I have always wondered how people voluntarily walk right into the trap knowing how it is going to be. Now I am not saying everyone should learn to live alone. Heck, I don’t want to be one of the reasons for human extinction.

However Love and Marriage, have always been strangely alien to me. To me love has always been to like a person so much, you would be ready to do anything for him/her. Now I don’t have to marry this person to be in love with him/her, do I ? This person could be my mom, my brother, my friend, my acquaintance or a colleague. Getting to know people, enjoying their company, spending time with them and my extensions have ended with that. Never have they led to the extent of marriage.

Successful marriages, as I understand, are probably marriages that hold a lot of understanding and compromise, rather than love. Yes it takes love too, a bit maybe. But mostly the aforesaid two. I believe marriages tend to fail, when either one of these slip, between both of the partners. It is not a one-way street. You cannot expect one person to understand and compromise all the way. Doesn’t happen. When you let your egos and chauvinisms rule, I guess thats when the marriage goes straight down the drain.

One other factor I have noted is the responsibility. True, the lady of the house holds prime importance in nurturing the family. That doesn’t stop the man being the man of the house as well. If it is meant for a man to be only a provider, we’d rather go to an ATM machine. When we begin to share everything, and I mean everything and share it wisely and fairly, that’s when the marriage works and such a family is bliss to watch.

I have always envied being in the midst of families like this. Wondered if I could every make a marriage, if I get into one, work like this. The warmth and happiness that such homes carry are hardly found. But Hey ! Life has never been right or perfect has it ? We also have marriages with all the sugar and spice and everything nice. And yes, it is a treat to watch such families too.

I wonder !