Kanne Kalai Maane…

Tears !

They have always followed, whenever I listen to this number. Not because of the melancholy it holds, but the memories. Of the nights, I have spent trying to sleep listening to the rendition from my brother.

Kannadasan, has managed not only to capture the feeling, but the mood of the listener in his words as well. Ilayaraja, being the true genius he is, found just the right mix to tune it to. Not to mention less, Yesudas, with the voice of an angel, spreads his magic through our veins with his voice.

Time and Again, as many times as I have listened to this song, it fails to bore me. Even today, while I channel surf on the television or flick through the radio waves, I go on an automatic standstill whenever I hear the now very familiar tune.

For people, who haven’t experienced what I have, maybe it takes time to find your own song. The one that connects to you from your soul. This song did that to me.

Someday you will find yours too !

Marriage !

Heading towards one’s own ruin, happily is what my idea of marriage has always been. We have so many debates that run about how marriages are becoming more and more unsuccessful day after day. Everyone argues that people, who fall in love before marriage and get married, tend to succeed more than marriages that are arranged.

I have seen many of them. Successful as well as failed marriages. Being a by-product of one this kind, I have always wondered how people voluntarily walk right into the trap knowing how it is going to be. Now I am not saying everyone should learn to live alone. Heck, I don’t want to be one of the reasons for human extinction.

However Love and Marriage, have always been strangely alien to me. To me love has always been to like a person so much, you would be ready to do anything for him/her. Now I don’t have to marry this person to be in love with him/her, do I ? This person could be my mom, my brother, my friend, my acquaintance or a colleague. Getting to know people, enjoying their company, spending time with them and my extensions have ended with that. Never have they led to the extent of marriage.

Successful marriages, as I understand, are probably marriages that hold a lot of understanding and compromise, rather than love. Yes it takes love too, a bit maybe. But mostly the aforesaid two. I believe marriages tend to fail, when either one of these slip, between both of the partners. It is not a one-way street. You cannot expect one person to understand and compromise all the way. Doesn’t happen. When you let your egos and chauvinisms rule, I guess thats when the marriage goes straight down the drain.

One other factor I have noted is the responsibility. True, the lady of the house holds prime importance in nurturing the family. That doesn’t stop the man being the man of the house as well. If it is meant for a man to be only a provider, we’d rather go to an ATM machine. When we begin to share everything, and I mean everything and share it wisely and fairly, that’s when the marriage works and such a family is bliss to watch.

I have always envied being in the midst of families like this. Wondered if I could every make a marriage, if I get into one, work like this. The warmth and happiness that such homes carry are hardly found. But Hey ! Life has never been right or perfect has it ? We also have marriages with all the sugar and spice and everything nice. And yes, it is a treat to watch such families too.

I wonder !

On Cloud Nine ??!!

I have come across this familiar adage, and always related it to the adrifting feel of happiness...

But really being on Cloud Nine... It it something that I had'nt experienced. Not until my trip to Bombay..

Small solace it was, when I heard my colleague was supposed to accompany on my first flight. But my castles came tumbling down, when I heard she was about to leave a day early. Filled with a lot of apprehension, I walked down to the departures aisle, looking for the Kingfisher Tag somewhere to lead me the right way. A neatly dressed young man approached me and asked me politely, if I was to board the Kingfisher flight to Bombay. No sooner did I nod my head, he grabbed my bag and started walking, moving swiftly through the crowd. Dumbstruck, I ran tag-wise behind him to see him lead me through the gates, to the boarding pass counter. A little relieved that I was in safe hands, I requested the guy at the counter to point me along the route I needed to take to get to the airplane and informed him that it was my first time.

Informing me that I needed to take a security check, he pointed towards what I understood to be a conveyer belt system to scan the luggage as it went through. I walked to the conveyer and noticed a screen on top of it displaying warnings, banning a lot of items which I knew for a fact that I was carrying. I panicked and tried to retreat from the line, when the security waved me off, saying it was ok. I understood that it is still India and here, everything goes.

I breezed through the security check, and there were was another polite helper on the other end,who walked me right into the airplane. Weird but pleasant experience to sit next to a total stranger, staring at the screen in front, where lovely Yana Gupta, gave the flight instructions in a nice sorta dance.

The lift-off, something I dreaded, was about to happen. The stories I heard from a whole lot of people about Air Sickness and Ear Blocking, all came back to me in a rush. I panicked, desperately looking around for an Air Sickness bag, which I was told, might be available on board. Then I asked the cute Air Hostess and she did show me where it was.

It was a weird feeling, like someone sitting on top of you. A little uneasy, a little stuffy..but all was well and I was on my way, happy enough that I did not fall prey to the Airsickness after all.

Pretty much a smooth flight from there. Pleasant people, decent enough food and music to listen too and a lot of staring and looking around for me, considering its my first time. I didn't budge from my seat, a queasy feeling, that the flight might actually crash if I walk through it. Stupid, I know ! But Seriously !! Thats how I felt.

Bombay it was.. an hour later. I was airplane savvy by then and the landing dint affect me much, though I couldn't pretty much hear what my room-mate was saying till the morning next day. My ears were completely blocked.

But my flight back...That is another story altogether..

On my next post...

For What It Is Worth..

Chrysalis...

A place that introduced me to a new dimension. Gave me a new venture to life. Made atleast one of my dreams come true. I look back at it now, with all the gratitude and all the remorse that it gave me. Some wonderful people I met and some useful lessons that I learnt. Some mistakes that I made as well.

This post is a dedication to all the people who have walked in and walked out of my life. To the people who were good enough to stay and to the people I had no choice but to leave behind. Leaving a company behind always gave me a plethora of guilt, but here the guilt was restricted to one friend that I did leave behind and not to the whole company.

For what it is worth, it has taught me how the corporate world can be and how to work your way through the obstacles and keep pushing forward to get where you want to go..

Farewell !

Life As It Is...

A lifetime of happiness

A world of loneliness

A decade of smiles

A barrage of tears


Filled with life

Emptiness too at times..

Laughing till the tummy hurts

Crying till the tears dry out


A roller coaster of emotions

A wide wide world..

Yet so small and so round

So many things..Lost and Found !


Thus is my life..

A chapter unto itself

I bide through it valiantly

All by myself !

Those tiny little fingers...

A smile, a small whimper, the little giggles... it gives us a lifetime of happiness just watching a baby grow. No matter, if the kid if your own or not...there is nothing that plucks at your heart strings more than watch a baby go about doing all the things that it does..

Its hard not think of how you cannot smile when you see the innocent smile of a youngin' looking at you with all the innocence in the world framed in its baby eyes. It breaks a barrier in us, that I dont think any living soul in the world could lead into..And makes it a truly God-Given.

It changes our world. Life seems to take up more responsibility but becomes so much more happier. The feeling of the little fingers curled around your own, holding you with all the faith in the world knowing that you will take care of it and believing in you like no one else would. That complete faith, that trust, that innocence is what probably make babies so special.

Life is filled with a lot of trials and tribulations and they say happiness comes to you in small packages. I guess the small packages do walk and talk and depend on you with all their heart, expecting you to be there for them and take care of them. Enjoy the experience with all your heart, coz they are very few and they dont happen all the time.. For the people who havent experienced it yet.. Wait and wish for it.. Have faith in it and when it comes..Believe in it and enjoy it...

With all your heart ....