Don't try!

Something I read that has come to mean a lot to me when I look back and connect the dots now. 

Trying. It has been my life’s lesson. I kept trying to get better at what I do, trying to be the better employee, trying to have a better life, trying to be the good daughter... but in the process of trying all this, we forget that the trying can exhaust us. It can suck us dry and leave us uninterested even in the things that matter. So what? Stop trying? 

“How can I do that?” was the constant horrifying thought that kept echoing down my mind, every time I thought of stopping to try, letting it go. Until I read the quote gem that I mentioned above. Thanks Mark Manson for that :)

For the reminder that trying is worthwhile only when the goal is. Find your goal, love it with all your heart, and then keep trying till you get there. This prioritization is something that took me ages to learn but I think I have finally life hacked it. Find what you love, try everything you can to get it - be it for jobs or relationships. 

(But for the rest) Don’t try! Let them go...

Keep Living...

A lot of self help, a lot of self-esteem shit, and finally I arrived at the knowledge that being not-so-special is okay.

I hear you saying, whaaaaaa....? But then think, isn't that what we have been forced to believe everyday. That the world revolves around us, that each of us are special, that each of us can make everything we want happen? What does that lead to when what you want does not happen. More heartbreak, more pain, more distrust, dissent, depression, all the fancy d-words that you can think of that shows how much you lack being human.

Yes, I said being human, because I think one of the most fundamental things about being human is making mistakes. We all make them. We fall, we get up. We trip, we learn to balance. We fail, we grow. That's how we learn. And since when did this become wrong? Since when did making mistakes and looking like a fool make you an outcast. Since the advent of social media, I would think. Since everyone's life is always bright and shiny, or so they want us to believe. What happens the day we cannot lie about how we feel or how we are actually doing in life? I would think the social media would become very quiet.

Yes, yes, I hear you saying - then what about our goals, our dreams, our ambitions in life. If we don't believe in ourselves, how do we then achieve them. Well, believe in yourself, I am not saying you shouldn't. But also believe that you can fail. Believe that you will make mistakes on your journey there. Fail a couple of times, lose a lot of people, money, health, wealth, et al. But you will get there, nevertheless. And the journey - that's what is called life. Doesn't make you a failure because you chose be human through your life's journey. That you chose to make mistakes along the way. 

But remember being human also means being kind, compassionate, loving, grateful, generous, and all the nice g-words which we seem to have forgotten about. Call me "old school", but I believe that it is these small things that still keeps this world from crumbling with all the hypocrisy that is floating around. Save yourselves, love a little, hurt a little, grieve a little, fail a little, and keep moving on. Keep living!

Friends?

Friends, friendship, friend-zone - so many types of friendships out there today. I think with the growing day and age, even the semblance of what this used to mean has been erased. True, I sound old saying that, but hey I enjoyed friendship and I mourn its' loss every day.

Why? Because tell me what friendships mean anymore? Is this your extended family? Are they around whenever you need them and whenever you don't also? Do your friends never cancel on you? Right or wrong, do they stand by you, nevertheless? Do they have massive fights with you and then call you the next day to find out if you want to go to a movie together? Coz, that's what friendship meant to me some few years ago. Now any of these is a cause for drama and people who still choose to be this way are called "old-fashioned", "ridiculous/weird", "clingy/does not know how to let go". Now we make friends on Tinder, because where does anyone have the time to go outside and get to meet new people. Activities have increased all around, but none of them, tho' meant to be "social" really serve that purpose. They are more the "social networking - selfie flaunting" kind rather than what real relationships used to be.

But am I really side-lining current friendships? No, I think it fits the current nature of people. Flakiness is the new black and I guess our style of friendships now goes quite hand in hand. But then, for the some of us who reminisce the good old days and wonder where all those friends have gone... I think this song explains a lot!

Dedicated to one of my real friends: Indu, this one's for you.

Till We Meet Again...

It happened...
Is all I could say about it.
A mark so deep and indelible
Distance doesn't faze it,
Not even a bit.

A beautiful soul...
That my soul recognized.
A connection so deep and
Yet so simple. It happened so fast,
I'm still surprised.

Now as you walk away,
My only wish for you is happiness.
Life as you want it is waiting
just around the corner.

Your happiness and your peace
Are my biggest incentives.
So don't forget ever that
Your smile lights our lives.
And that is all I wish for!

Farewell, dear friend...till we meet again...

Soul Search

A lifelong wait

I try to keep up

As it twists and slips

Out my mind and my grip

A soul un-quenched

With an undying thirst

I wait right there

Throwing my fit, waiting to burst

My hand extended

Waiting, side-lined

Come reach out to me

Enough, I have pined...

Goodbye, my darling!

It was love at first sight. A small bundle of white fur, you came running into my life. I have never been the same since… You grew in size, in person and in my heart, developing those beautiful spots that gave you character. Life for me has been printed with your snowy little paws ever since. You have been a person unto yourself developing the dainty patient character that you were. You have patiently welcomed and waited for those so many people who were scared at first sight and took their time to realize you were a sweetheart. Coming home and seeing your enthusiastic response has been my homecoming for a long time. Home was home because you were waiting for me. I know that I haven’t paid attention to you many times and let my life rule me completely, when you waited patiently, loving me unconditionally through all my hang-ups.  I do not know how I will ever apologize for that, but I know I will repent for it for the rest of my life. As I make the decision to let you go today, I only wish that you will forgive me for everything I did including what I am doing right now and I wish that someday we can be together again, if there is ever an afterlife for us together. As you leave today you are taking that big chunk of my heart that you so lovingly paw-printed and I know it will never be complete again, neither will I. I will miss you so very much my darling! Please be safe, wherever you go and I hope you are happy, wherever you are. Love you, Nila!

Whistle Podu :D

5.00 PM - Hectic neck to neck driving on P.H road, racing towards the MAC stadium, Chepauk. I still remember the colorful curses from Sandeep Kumar about Chennai's traffic. Lol :) I did warn you dude !

6.15 PM - Waiting to collect tickets

6.45 PM - Calling a poor soul repeatedly who was trying to attend to nature's call :D. Excellent timing !

7.00 PM - Frantic drive around looking for a parking spot

7.30 PM - After a brief tussle with the parking attendant, race toward Gate 14

7.45 PM - Past security check, change into the SUPER KINGS yellow jersey

8.00 PM - IPL FINAL - CSK Vs RCB

Being my first time in a stadium, having heard people tell me its fun, I was least prepared for the mindblowing experience it was. 95 % of the crowd in the Super Kings yellow; A few sad souls in the RCB red. I do appreciate the nerve it took them to come and support that team, when they knew what a huge opposition they were up against.

Toss won, batting chosen and the War was on ! And what a match it was. Every time there was a boundary made, they played the Super Kings anthem and we jumped off our seats to dance and cheer. But it looked like we were off our seats most of the time. Every other ball was hit for a six or four. And 205 in 20 overs.. WOW! RCB couldn't reach it with a yardstick. I had prepared myself for a good enough fight from CSK, but the team made it one helluva match, which I would've cursed myself for missing..Had I not been there.

Thanks once again to Sandeep, Nakul and Arun and also to Dharani, Karthik, Arun, Sandeep Balaji, Divya, Mahesh and Karthik. Once again, it was a memory that would be carved into my very soul. It wouldn't have been that much fun without you guys !! I haven't danced that much, that too in public, in such a long time.

Singing happy birthday for Hussey and him waving us kisses, watching Pomersback's spectacular backside,(Good package on a whole, but that was all we could see), the Vodafone zoozoo's antics, dancing for the whistle podu song along with Keerthi and Gang( I'm louving it !) the guy running across the gallery screaming RCB ! RCB! and the crowd catching him when he tried to retreat quietly(He begged to let him go, saying sorry ! Finally, he was let go with a warning !) I know it sounds serious, but it was all in good humor. I was delirious from the feeling of togetherness that was emanating from every single supporter there. Way to go CSK ! You've earned it and I have to say it is well deserved. Once again, Dhoni gives this match his touch. He made me his ardent fan overnight(I liked him before, but World cup sealed the deal for me), and he kept his promise this time too :). Whatte man !

The highlight was watching Morkel, Bravo and Bollinger do the Madras kuthu while doing rounds after winning the match. The Chennai Influence :) I guess ! The fireworks just didn't stop and it was so hard to tear ourselves away from there.
On a whole, one helluva match, one fantastic day, another nostalgic moment to add to my list of memories :)

Adhuku oru whistle podanum :)